the
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...what's your story?
Who should have the 'power' or 'control' in a relationship? The woman? The man? Or should it be divided equally? If not, who should have more??
I know a lot of men who feel that they should possess all the power in the relationship. It catches me off guard a bit every time
I hear it because well, I don’t agree. Don’t get me wrong, I'm a FIRM believer in letting a man be a man and taking charge...I just
don’t agree with how certain men say "take charge".
When there’s usually a lot of "shut the fuck up", "you moron/asshole/bitch/derelict...etc.,
etc", and a lot of threats made, that’s not what I define as letting a man be a man. I'm all for the sexy male anger and 'putting
me in my place' but there’s a way to go about it.
1. Do NOT threaten me physically in ANY way shape or form
2. Do NOT call me out my name and expect me to be on some 'yes dear'...'no dear' routine.
3. Do NOT talk down to me (as soon as someone comes at me in any condescending way, I completely shut down to it; nothing is heard out of their mouth.
To me... being a man and possessing that natural authority is what attracts me and allows me to step down or back off from an issue.
I don’t feel it’s degrading to a woman to let a man take control, nor do I feel that it’s necessary to be equals 24/7...sometimes
the male should have control, sometimes the female.
I have a decent understanding of the male pride...I just feel like somewhere
lost in that pride is the idea that woman don’t have any, or shouldn’t for that matter.
If a man could stop in the middle of an argument, tell me what it’s going to be and what will happen from that point on, and does
it with authority but not disrespect, with passion but not hatred, with understanding but not an overbearing nature...you know what
I'm going to do when he's done...
I’m going to shut the hell up if I'm wrong.
I can’t do the name calling and threats
though...or cockiness. It just turns me off to even want to back down on my side. I feel like my womanhood is being challenged...like
I’m expected to respond as if I'm a pet. That's not how it works around these parts...so I don’t know. Mind you, I have an ENORMOUS
amount of pride myself. Sometimes I DON’T know when to give in but I'll be damned if I'm not trying to figure this whole male species
out. I don't think males are all the same...not even any two males for that matter. EVERYONE has to be dealt with differently.
My
issue is...if I'm making strides and learning how to cater specifically to someone's personality...why can’t it be done for me?? If
someone knows I'm a little spoiled and like attention...what’s wrong with giving that to me?
If men knew how hard it was to
maintain knowing that we as women have the power, while making them feel as if they do…they’d let us just bask in it from time to
time. I want male opinions: is it just that y’all don’t feel females will do things correctly if they have the power? Do you even
care if the woman controls the relationship? Does it make you feel like less of a man? Or do you actually like when it happens? Is
there a certain way a woman could go about gaining the power that wouldn’t alarm you as much? Or make you feel like less of a man?
And ladies (no I'm NOT biased) Why do we feel the need to control EVERYTHING? Do you care to even have control in the relationship?
How do you feel when it comes to the point where a man is taking the control? What are some ways that a guy has tried to gain control
that attracted you? What are some that turned you off?
This topic baffles me...for lack of a better word. Any help here people??
Maybe we can all help each other. (& if your relationship is same sex...just answer the questions related to you)
Join
the conversation on our Message Board.
ATTENTION ATTENTION PLEASE...WOMEN DO HAVE PRIDE AND DESERVE RESPECT!! WE JUST KNOW WHEN TO PUT IT TO THE SIDE AND WHEN TO BRING IT
TO THE FOREFRONT.